


Finally, A Good Night

by HermioneGirl96



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Gryffindor Common Room, Hogwarts, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders' Era, POV Third Person, Sirius Black's Prank on Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 22:17:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13599567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermioneGirl96/pseuds/HermioneGirl96
Summary: It's past midnight on the night before the first full moon after The Prank. Remus and Sirius haven't spoken in weeks, but James has tasked Sirius with making sure Remus gets some sleep. Back rubs, tears, angst, fluff, and love confessions ensue.





	Finally, A Good Night

It was one in the morning—half an hour since Remus started biting his own left index finger to stay awake, and five hours since Sirius started stealing guilty glances at him from across the common room. The place had emptied out, and now only the two of them remained. James had gone to bed an hour ago after bidding Sirius to make sure Remus got to sleep. In response to Sirius’s helpless expression, James had winked and whispered, “You’ll think of something.”

Sirius watched Remus’s chin sink to meet his chest and then surge back up again. When Remus raised his left hand to his mouth, Sirius stood and padded across the room until he was standing directly behind Remus. He made sure Remus’s finger was out of his mouth before laying his hands on Remus’s back—no sense startling Remus into hurting himself. Then Sirius began to knead at the werewolf’s tense shoulders, trying to pour unspoken apologies through his fingertips.

“Go away, Sirius.” Those were the only three words Remus had spoken to him in three weeks. Twenty-one days since the shouted accusations had subsided into a three-word mantra of exclusion.

For the first time, Sirius didn’t obey. “No.”

Remus whipped his head around, wrenching his shoulders out of Sirius’s grasp. “Really? You think you have the right to force your presence on me? Now? After everything?”

“I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m not asking you to forget what I did. All I want is for you to forget that the hands on your back are _mine_ for a second, so you can get a bit of rest. I just want you to relax. I know how it is right before the full moon.”

“Oh, you know how it is, do you? Then tell me, how did you miss the bit where it’s a secret? Or the bit where I don’t want to kill people?”

“I said I know how it is right _before._ I never claimed to know how it was _during._ I’m fully aware that I don’t know a thing about _during._ ”

“After three years I’d have thought you’d at least know not to run your mouth about it.”

“I said I was sorry! What more do you want me to do? I’d take it back if I could, but I can’t!”

“I want you to _go away._ ”

“Please, Remus.” Sirius’s voice had dropped to a whisper. “Just let me give you a backrub and put you to bed. I won’t talk to you if you don’t want me to.”

“I’ve got to finish this chapter.”

“You’re falling asleep on the book, Remus. You won’t remember anything you’re reading in this state. You can get by without finishing the chapter for once.”

“I don’t like going into the full moon behind, as you _ought to know_.”

“I do know that, but working yourself into the ground before the full moon won’t do you any good, either. Prongs and Wormtail and I can take notes for you this weekend and have them ready for when the moon starts waning. I’d give mine to Prongs. You wouldn’t have to talk to me. I promise.”

Remus gave a curt nod and turned away from Sirius, marking his place in the book, lowering his arms to his sides, and letting his head fall to his chest. It took Sirius a moment to realize that this was tacit approval to continue the backrub. He seized Remus’s shoulders and began working at the knots in them again, eventually moving down to Remus’s shoulder blades. He went slowly, gently, methodically, trying to suppress the thrill he felt from contact with Remus.

After a few minutes, Sirius realized that Remus was shaking. His hands stilled. “Moony? Are you okay?”

Remus turned to face Sirius again. This time, his face was streaked with tears.

Sirius clambered over the couch and sat next to Remus, pulling the smaller boy against him. To his surprise, Remus thrust his face into Sirius’s shoulder and let out an audible sob. Sirius enfolded Remus and allowed himself the luxury of stroking Remus’s hair with one hand; he kept the other hand steady on Remus’s back. He thought about whispering, “It’s okay,” but that would have been a lie. Instead, he whispered, “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

After several minutes, Remus drew back and wiped his nose on the back of his hand. “Disgusting.” He glanced from Sirius’s robes to his own hand and grimaced.

Sirius frowned back. “You’re having an emotional breakdown and you expect me to care about my _robes_?”

Remus leaned forward, out of Sirius’s embrace, and shoved his textbooks, quills, and parchment into his bag. “Well, you clearly don’t care about _me,_ so—”

Sirius grabbed Remus’s wrist before he could stop himself.

“Let me go,” Remus snapped.

Sirius released Remus’s wrist. “I know I screwed up, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

“You sure? ’Cause last I checked people didn’t use people they cared about as weapons.”

“Look, I _know_ I hurt you. But I’ve always cared about you. I had no idea how much until you started shutting me out. It’s been _killing_ me going through the past month knowing you hate me. So don’t you _dare_ think—”

“Don’t _I_ dare? Don’t _I_ —” A sob rendered Remus incapable of speech.

Sirius pulled Remus against him again. “Can I do anything for you? Do you want me to get James? Should I—?”

An even louder sob from Remus cut Sirius off.

“Remus . . . I’m so, so sorry.”

“Stop,” Remus sobbed.

Sirius loosened his grip on Remus. “Do you want me to leave?”

“You may as well. I’m awful company right now.”

Sirius held Remus tighter. “I’m not here looking for _you_ to make _me_ happy. Can I do anything for you?”

Remus cried harder.

“I’m so sorry, Remus. I’m so, so sorry,” Sirius whispered.

“I know,” Remus eventually gasped.

Sirius pulled back just far enough to look at Remus’s face. “What?”

“I know you’re sorry. I know you care about me. I don’t know why you _would,_ but you’re still here, so—”

Sirius shifted his grip to Remus’s shoulders. “I never want to disappoint you again.”

Remus shrugged, forcing Sirius’s hands up and down with the motion. “I’m basically a walking definition of disappointment, so—”

“Don’t you _ever_ say that again. Moony, how can you think that? You’re brilliant and hardworking and brave and responsible and mature and sympathetic and kind and gorgeous and—”

Remus’s eyebrows shot up. “Gorgeous?”

Sirius dropped his hands from Remus’s shoulders, resting his elbows on his own knees. He refused to make eye contact with Remus, and he looked horrified with himself. “Sorry.”

“Why did you call me gorgeous?”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“But why did you?”

Sirius sighed. “I mean, it’s _true_ . . .”

Remus tilted his head to one side. “You think I’m gorgeous?”

Sirius couldn’t meet Remus’s eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Answer the question.”

“Of _course_ I think you’re gorgeous.”

“But . . . that’s a word guys use for girls.”

“Straight guys do,” Sirius said to his lap.

“And you’re not . . . ?”

Sirius laughed humorlessly. “Straight? No. Not remotely.” He stole a quick glance at Remus. “This was already a given, but you can hate me if you want.”

“For _that_?”

“And for last month. For anything. Everything. You’re within your rights.”

“No, Sirius, this is brilliant.”

“Brilliant?”

“Yes! Why have we never had this conversation before?”

Sirius dared to look at Remus for multiple seconds. “What? You’re . . . happy?”

“Yes! Why haven’t we talked about this before?”

“Well, it wasn’t until you started freezing me out that I realized I’m in love with you—”

“You’re in love with me?”

“I’m so sorry. I should not have said that.”

“Did you just say you’re _in love with me_?”

“Yes. I’m so sorry.”

“No, let me sure I understand what you’re saying. You love me. Romantically.”

“Yes! Remus, I think you put the sun in the sky and set the stars in their courses and started the world spinning and endowed every good thing with your virtue and—I’m sorry.” Remus was crying again. “For a second I thought you might want to hear that. I’m so sorry.”

Remus swiped at his eyes. “I did. That was lovely.”

Sirius kicked at the table leg in front of him. “Don’t pretend it doesn’t disgust you.”

Remus grabbed Sirius’s hand. “It _doesn’t_ disgust me.”

“You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to ever talk to me again.”

Remus cried harder. “Any chance—you’d hold me again?”

Sirius hoisted Remus into his lap before the werewolf had the opportunity to change his mind. “Every chance in the world.”

Remus buried his wet face in Sirius’s shoulder. “But why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you love me? Why will you hold me?”

“Because you’re every kind of wonderful there is! Because you’re smart and patient and clever and funny and quick-witted and handsome and beautiful and loyal and—”

“No I’m not! That’s _you_! I mean, except maybe loyal, after last month . . .”

“I failed you. I’m so sorry.”

“But you really think I’m all of those things?”

“And so much more.”

Remus’s sobs escalated again.

“If I’m allowed to ask, why are you crying?”

“I’m about to become a monster and somehow you think _well_ of me.”

Sirius pulled back a bit in order to meet Remus’s gaze. “You are not a monster. Never. Not during the full moon, not ever. You hear me? You are _wonderful_.”

“You mean that?”

“Of _course_.”

“I love you.”

Now Sirius pulled back nearly a foot. “ _What_?”

“I love you. It’s been awful freezing you out and being mad for a month, and I’ve hated suspecting the one person I’m in love with of not realizing I’m human, and I always feel worthless the night before the full moon, and now here you are telling me you know I’m human and you’re sorry and you love me, and I—”

“You’re in love with me?”

“Yes,” Remus sobbed. “And I’d resigned myself to loneliness and secrets and dealing with you not caring, and now you’re turning all that on its head.”

“So you’re crying?”

“It’s the middle of the night before the full moon. This isn’t exactly my most stable moment. I’m sorry for getting snot on your robes.”

“I couldn’t care less about my robes right now.”

“Sirius, please. What’s on your mind?”

“About what?”

“Oh, you know, the thing I just told you. About me being in love with you and all that.”

“I . . . I don’t even know what to think. I’m so—you really love me?”

Remus laid his head against Sirius’s chest. “So much. You really love me?”

“So very, very much.”

“We really should have had this conversation before now.”

“I didn’t realize I love you until you started hating me.”

Remus nodded into Sirius’s chest. “There is that.”

“Yeah.” Sirius sighed. “What do we do now?”

“What do you want?”

“I want to give you a backrub and put you to bed.”

“You don’t have any devious plans now that you’ve realized we’re in love?”

“None that matter more than your rest. Except—can I kiss you?”

“ _Please,_ ” Remus breathed. “But I’ll taste like snot and tears.”

“I don’t care,” Sirius whispered. He shifted, tilting his head and angling his nose away from Remus’s, and then went in for the kiss. Remus’s soft lips instantly parted in greeting and their tongues tangled together. It was several seconds until they broke apart.

“Thank you,” Remus sighed. “I’ve waited for that for so long.”

“So have I,” Sirius breathed back. “Now come on, you need a backrub.”

“One more kiss?”

Sirius grinned. “If you insist.”

Remus blushed and lowered his eyes. “I didn’t—”

Sirius’s face approached Remus’s. “I was _kidding._ I’d love to kiss you again.”

Remus looked back up at Sirius. “Really?”

Sirius kissed him in reply. This time took longer; each boy seemed to be trying to drink in the other’s enthusiasm and affection. After many long moments, Sirius pulled away. “I’d love to do that all night, but you need your sleep.”

“One more?”

“If I kept going, I don’t think I’d ever be able to stop. I’m sorry, Moony, but I’m going to have to ask you to let me up now.”

Remus sighed and scooted off of Sirius’s lap.

Sirius stood, walked around the sofa to stand behind Remus, and finally resumed Remus’s back massage. As he rubbed out the knots in Remus’s back, he leaned down and gave Remus intermittent kisses on the head and neck. At last, when he had worked all of the tension out of Remus’s back, he said, “Come on. You need to get to bed.”

Remus groaned. “Why’d you have to go and make me so comfortable, then? Now I don’t want to move.”

Sirius walked around to the front of the sofa and grabbed Remus’s hand. “Up you get.”

With Sirius’s help, Remus stood. Then he stared at their intertwined fingers for several seconds. “I—I get to—you’re willing to—”

“Hold your hand?” Sirius giggled.

Remus nodded. 

“Oh, so much more than willing,” Sirius breathed into Remus’s ear before kissing him on the cheek. “And you?”

Remus grinned. “I am happier right now than you can possibly imagine.”

“I don’t think I even need to use my imagination.”

Remus lifted his eyes to meet Sirius’s. “Really?”

“Absolutely,” Sirius whispered against Remus’s mouth before closing in for the kiss. When it was over, Sirius said, “Now look what you’ve done! I was all set on getting you to bed and you just keep distracting me!”

Remus stared at the floor. “I’m sorry.”

“I was _joking._ I enjoy kissing you. More than enjoy it. You’re just so distracting, and you really do need your sleep . . .”

“I’ll be all right.”

“Don’t give me that. I need to get you to bed. Come on.” Sirius practically towed Remus up to the sixth year boys’ dormitory. Once there, Sirius found Remus’s pajamas and handed them to him before starting to get ready for bed himself.

When Sirius had his pajamas on and both boys had brushed their teeth, Sirius followed Remus back to his bed.

Remus noticed the proximity as he pulled back his blankets. “Oh, did you want to—”

“Just tuck you in, don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t worried.”

“Right, of course. Sorry. My brain just—”

“Mine did too.”

“What?”

“My mind went there too, and I _wasn’t worried_.”

“Oh! You mean you, um, _want_ —”

“I mean, I know it’s not feasible in the dormitory, but _yes_.”

“You’re right, it’s not feasible. I wish, too, but for now you need to get to bed.”

Remus sighed and flopped onto his mattress. Sirius grabbed the blankets that Remus had relegated to the bottom of the bed and covered the werewolf in them up to the chin. Then Sirius kissed Remus on the forehead and whispered, “Good night, my love.”

“Good night.”


End file.
